Most Frequently Asked Questions - FAQs

Are there any costs to me?
No. There is no cost to you as a birthmother. Adoptive parents pay for legal fees, reasonable pregnancy-related expenses and medical bills that are not covered by insurance or public aid. Other living expenses may be available depending on the laws of your state.

What is open or semi-open adoption?
In an open adoption, the you choose the adoptive family rather than having us choose one for you. “Open” versus “closed” adoption also refers to the amount of contact that you want to have with your child’s adoptive family. You may want letters and photos only or you may want some type of contact. This is up to you and we can help you explore what you feel is best for you and for your baby.

Is assistance available to me?
Assistance with living expenses may be available for birth parents, depending on the laws in your state. While adoption laws vary in each state, many states allow adoptive families to assist birth parents with expenses related to the pregnancy. These expenses are designed to supplement other income, and can help with items such as maternity clothing, medical bills, transportation to doctor's visits, food, housing, etc. It's important to feel very confident in your adoption decision before accepting living assistance.

Who can I talk to about adoption or parenting?
We are available to talk to you about all your options. We are an adoption agency but we are interested in having successful adoptions and so we don’t believe that a birth mother should be persuaded to give up her child for adoption. It is an extremely important decision and we want you to be comfortable and as certain as possible about the decision. We will approach your situation with you by looking at all your options and helping you to explore your feelings and what is best for you at this point in your life.

Do I have to have my mind made up before talking to an adoption professional?
Absolutely not. You do not have to make up your mind before speaking with us – that’s what they’re here for! It is actually best to talk with someone prior to and throughout your decision-making process so you can gather information about all of your options in order to make the best decision for you and your baby. Exploring adoption is a personal process that varies from one individual to the next, and there is no set time in which you have to make your decision. We know that making that first contact with an adoption agency can be scary, but find comfort knowing that when you contact us it is confidential and there are no obligations should you decide that you do not want to choose adoption. It is also important to understand that adoption counseling is free so it is beneficial to explore your options.

How do I decide if adoption is right for me and my baby?
The decision to parent or choose adoption is often a very difficult one. It is a decision that most likely will not look black and white for you as there will likely be positives and negatives to both options. This is why you should feel encouraged to explore all of your options thoroughly. Many women find it helpful to list their reasons for considering adoption along with pros and cons to adoption and parenting. A good social worker/adoption professional can help you see all sides and point out possible options that you may not be aware of. Whether you choose adoption or parenting, it is decision that should be made with great care and talking it through with people who understand what you are facing can prove very helpful.

Is adoption a selfish decision?
Choosing adoption for your child when you are not ready to become a parent is the most loving and unselfish decision that you can make. When someone states that adoption is a selfish choice, they are someone who does not understand the sacrifices a woman makes when she chooses adoption nor have they considered that not every woman who finds herself pregnant is at the right place in her life to parent a child. Adoption reflects positively on everyone involved. Your child will be able to have all the opportunities and experiences that you want for him or her but are not able to provide right now. Your situation and circumstances may make it too difficult for you to raise a child, but adoption allows you to make sure your child receives the type of life you want your child to have.

I'm afraid my child will think that I didn't love him, and that is the reason that I placed him for adoption?
Placing a child for adoption is the most loving thing any mother can do for her child when she knows that she is unable to care for him in the manner that the baby needs and deserves. We counsel with all of our birth mothers and adoptive families about how hard this decision is to make. We know that only mothers who truly love their child are capable of placing it for adoption. You love him so much and you know that you have limited options and scarce resources and adoption provides an opportunity for this child to have a stable, nurturing, loving family in which to grow.

Will the race of my baby affect the adoption plan?
We believe that there is a family for every child. We work with birth mothers of all races, backgrounds and families want to adopt children of all races and backgrounds.

What is the cost of parenting a child?
Parenting a child can easily range from $1,000-$2,000 per month. This estimate includes, but is not limited to: diapers, bottles formula, clothing, day care, crib, car seat, stroller, blankets, hygiene products. Of course, this does not take into account the cost of housing and transportation.

When all of these expenses are added up, it will cost approximately $12,000 - $24,000 per year to raise a child.

Do I get to choose the adoptive parents of my child?
Yes. When you fill out our paperwork, we ask you to describe the family you want for your child. We have families who are waiting to adopt a child. They have filled out paper work, too. They have also listed a criteria or description of the type of birth mother they would want to work with toward an adoption. We then present families to you who meet the criteria you described to us.

Do I get to meet them?
Yes, we encourage you to meet with them and to develop a relationship before your child is born. You will choose your adoptive family by looking through several profiles that we have of people who meet your criteria. You can talk to or meet with any and all of them if possible. That is up to you. We know how important that it is for you to be able to know and trust the adoptive family that you have chosen as parents for your child.

What information is the adoptive family given about me?
The agency is required to keep your confidentiality. We never disclose your last name, social security number, home address or any type of identifying information. We give out your home telephone number with your permission for the purposes of matching with the adoptive couple. When you meet with or talk to the adoptive family that you have chosen, you are free to tell them anything about yourself that you choose.

What will I know about the adoptive family?
All families must have a home study completed by a licensed social worker that recommends them for adoption. This process is very detailed. It includes a complete criminal and child abuse background check, their finances, the quality of their marital and other close relationships such as with their parents, siblings or any children they may have. They have to provide the social worker with a letter from their doctor showing they are in good health and free of communicable diseases such as tuberculosis, etc.

They also have to provide the social worker documentation showing their work history, stability and financial ability to support the child. And finally, the social worker does a clinical assessment of their capacity to understand the needs of a child and to be able to meet them emotionally and mentally as well as financially. Adoptive families have to go through a lot to be able to qualify to adopt a child in Texas as well as any other state. The home study is not shared with the birth mother because of confidentiality. However, a judge will read it prior to finalization of the adoption.

They will have provided a detailed profile of themselves, their home, family members, etc. This will be yours to keep after the match is complete and both you and the adoptive family have decided to go forward with the adoption plan. It includes a letter to the birth mother. They usually are very open about their reasons for choosing to create their family through adoption. Infertility is the main reason that most people choose to adopt. Our families have usually spent many years trying to conceive and have been unable to, so they have chosen adoption as a means to create the family that they want.

Will the family live in the same state as I do?
Possibly, but you know this at the time of the match. You are told which profiles are from people who live in a different state than you do. We also work with families all over the world so if this is a situation is interesting to you, we can present these families to you as well.

What would a family like to know about me?
They would like to know just about everything. They might want to know what your favorite music, food, hobby, etc. is. They are going to be very interested in your family, your brothers and sisters, your extended family members. They will want to know all you know about your family’s genetic health history, of course. But they will also want to know about your heritage: German, Italian, Mexican, American Indian, etc.

If you have any type of family rituals that you and your family do for special holidays, be sure to share those with the family you choose. These are things that are going to be important to your child when he gets older. The adoptive family may want to incorporate some of your family traditions into their life to honor you and your precious gift to them.

After I sign my paperwork, will I need to have any more contact with the agency?
Not if you don’t want to, but we hope that you do. Certainly you may sever your relationship with us, but we hope you don’t. Many of our young mothers have an on-going relationship with staff members and let us know occasionally what is happening in their lives.

What do you mean about contacts with the family afterwards?
We offer all types of adoption plans. There is not much difference between open and semi-open adoption. In both cases you meet the family, exchange non-identifying information and contact each other through our agency with letters and pictures of yourself, your children, the adoptive family, the adopted child, any future children you might have. We consider the adoption to be ‘open’ when you and the adoptive family have exchanged identifying information such as last names, home addresses and have decided to contact each other direct, not through the agency.

What if I don’t want to meet them or to have contact later?
We only suggest these guidelines; we don’t force you to do anything. We feel that this is a hard decision for you to make.You make the decisions. I know that at this point you must be scared and confused about whether to make an adoption plan for your child or not. You are hesitant about making any type of decision. We are sensitive to your thoughts about this and we are not going to force you to make decisions that you are not ready or don’t want to make. We will be available to counsel you about the benefits of open and semi-open adoptions in an on-going manner. Our hope is that when this is over, you can feel that the people that you chose as parents of your child are going to love him/her and take care of him/her in the same way you would, if you only could. Developing a trusting relationship with us as well as with the adoptive family is helpful during this process.

Will I be able to hold my baby in the hospital?
Yes, this is your baby and until you sign your relinquishments, you make the decisions about him. We encourage you to have the child brought to your room as often as you want to so that you can love him, bless him and spend time with him.

What sort of things can I send to my child at placement or afterwards?
You may send anything you want to your child at placement or afterwards. Remember, the adoptive family is responsible for the child’s emotional health and growth, so they may not give the item to the child right away. They may save it for him with the other ‘mementos’ that they collected during the process and give these items to him when he is older and can really understand how this all came to be. We encourage you to write a letter to the child to be given to him when he is ‘of age’ so that he can know and understand exactly how much you love him and what an unselfish, loving thing you have done for him. If you don’t want to write the letter at this time, fine. You may want to in the future. So, send it to us and we will make sure the family gets it. Another thing that some birth mothers and fathers do is to compile a ‘family album’ including pictures of both of you, your families, yourself as children. This is an especially nice gesture and provides your child with pictures and information about your family that will be so important to him during his late adolescence and early adulthood.

How do I start the adoption process?
The best way to start the adoption process is to call and speak privately with us or email us.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be very difficult and scary, and deciding what to do will be even harder.

Keeping perspective at this time is critical. The most important thing to remember is that you have a choice. Every woman does.